Meon Springs - an Alternative to a Royal Wedding

Not being wedding-y type people (although we do wish well to every couple that ties the knot) and certainly not street party-type people either, TOH and I decided to spend the day fishing at Meon Springs in Hampshire.  Well, one half of this couple went fishing, and the other half chilled out with unlimited mugs of coffee and a laptop.  Up to you to decide which one was which :o)

But...I took pics!  Oh yes, 'cos it's really lovely country over there.  Meon Springs is within the South Downs National Park and is adjacent to a working dairy farm.  Unfortunately I didn't manage to get up close and personal with the cows, but as them heifers have two very big, very butch boyfriends, maybe it's just as well. 

Here's one of the vistas from one of the hills, as you drive up to the fishery:

And views of the fishing lakes as the afternoon draws to a close:

Imagine having something that looks like this tree but in a nice 12-inch landscape pot (with possibly a bit of depth in it for the roots, as I think this is an Oak):

And my personal favourite, with just the lone angler at the end of the day (double-click on the photo to enlarge):

A big Thank You goes out to manager Keith for treating us like royalty (or was I just a royal pain in the A?).  Even if you don't know one end of a rod from another, the whole area is really rather pretty and I would still encourage you to discover the villages of the Meon Valley in Hampshire.

Oh, and TOH bagged a couple of four-pounders.

Missed a Milestone, did I?

Just realised something.  As of the 26th February, this blog has been going on for a year. 

And why I should think that's significant, I don't know.

Unfortunately I have no stats to show for this sort of thing, as I only started using a stat tool in October.  So no Month-on-Month, Quarter-on-Quarter or Year-on-Year figures to show you.  Which is no fun really.  No Powerpoint slides.  Hurrr.  What would we do without Powerpoint slides to justify our existence?

What may have changed over the year is the raison d'etre of this blog.  While I had originally started it to keep a record of bonsai shows we attend, the reality is there isn't always that much newsworthy (by my definitions) to say.  Post photos of the trees on display?  A pure line-up of bonsai tree photos is one of the most boring things I can think of to do, and if you're looking for these, then there are bazillions of other websites already doing them.  For nothing am I going to run a blog to bore myself to tears. 

And while it may be amusing and controversial to do a 'Hello' magazine type reportage on bonsai personalities, there really isn't anyone in the bonsai world that I can think of who is on par with Paris Hilton for this type of 'newsworthiness'.  Underwear notwithstanding.  (And please - if you do know someone who fits the bill, please don't tell me. Oh. Wait. Hmmm....)

So this blog has evolved into something a bit more like a personal record of events.  What have not changed are the tools I use: all my photos are still taken on my Sony Ericsson phone, most of the staged photos are either taken in my kitchen or in the front room.  I don't use any professional photographic equipment as I can't be bothered to do any complicated set-up.  Little or no manipulation is done to the photos, the most I will do is try to enhance brightness or contrast; again as I have neither the time nor the inclination to learn how to use the software.

So to the old friends who have been on this journey with me for the past year, thanks for sticking 'round.  To the new friends who have bumped up my stat numbers, thanks for dropping by.  Don't bother looking for the stat analysis, do you really think I'm going to get up off my bum to look the numbers up?  Hmpfh.

Looking forward to another year with y'all.  Yeee-hah.

P could also be for Poinsettia...

We aren't so far from the holiday season (well, just a hair's breadth-ish after the 6th January, heheh) that I can't post a pretty pic of a pretty Christmas cake:

This was a friend's gift (completely home made!) to TOH and I've set it up against the new kitchen tiles that TOH has put so much hard graft into sealing.

Ain't it all pretty?

What does the letter P stand for?

For the past 5 days, TOH has been having trouble with the Norton AntiVirus Helpdesk.  It had gotten to the point that it is so bad it's started affecting me.  So of course I had to blog about it.  Because yes, I am going somewhere with my (seemingly) disjointed rants.

TOH's computer woes started when a worm got past Norton AntiVirus' version 2.  Which necessitated a call to their Helpdesk; a techie comes along, sorts it out and all is supposed to be well.  And in a few hours the problems start again.  TOH's computer starts running slower then stops dead.  So the calls to the Helpdesk start again.  13 calls later, TOH has accumulated 10 priority numbers, spoken to 13 techies, repeated the case history 13 times, and seen the computer die each time.  Techies went into TOH's registry and modified it, then suggested TOH upgrade to version 3 and taken TOH's money for it.  This is where good faith and desperation can be the undoing of you.  Because after AV v3 went in, the shit really hit the fan.

Now several days and daily phone calls later, TOH's computer is worse off than when the first call to the Helpdesk was made.  The techies started suggesting it was due to clashes with other software on the computer, so they started uninstalling other stuff.  The problem persisted and the case was passed up to the 'elite team' who were apparently defeated by it all.  Because in the end, they started telling TOH that it wasn't a Norton problem.  Never mind TOH's numerous reiterations that there were never any software clashes with the older version of Norton AV.

The long & short of it?  TOH manages to speak to a manager who says the same thing; essentially, it's not Norton's problem.  No matter that a virus got past their AntiVirus software, no matter that their support team had a hand in disabling a computer; they simply said, oh well, it's not our fault, guv, you'll have to sort it out yourself now - and walk away.

No mention of apology for the inability to resolve an issue (because they refused to acknowledge it).  No mention that they took somebody's money for software that isn't usable or even the offer of a refund.  No mention of having taken someone's time up - because most nights TOH was on the phone to them until 03:00 AM, which seriously screwed up my sleep patterns.  But that isn't Norton's problem, is it?

I am accepting of human fraility.  I can understand not being able to solve every problem in the world.  But do you have to pretend it isn't there?  Feign having had no hand in exacerbating a situation?  Wouldn't it be better to accept defeat gracefully and try to placate the customer somehow?  Because turning around at this point and acting like it's the customer's fault is only going to piss them off even further.

And while I may have no problem with placing technical support services in areas where costs are low, I have every issue with Helpdesk personnel who are (a) supercilious, (b) do not listen to and talk over the customer while they are explaining the problem, and (c) do not man up and acknowledge their shortcomings and don't even make any concessions to the damage left in their wake.  That sums up as unhelpful and a shitty attitude in my book.  I understand that they may be faced with a lot of customers who are barely computer literate, but that does not mean that ALL their customers are in the same boat.  And even then, so what?  Does that justify giving people attitude?  Isn't there a clue in the word 'HELPdesk'??

What they don't seem to realise is that theirs is essentially a customer-facing role.  They are the voice of Norton AntiVirus that I have indavertently been listening to for the past 5 days.  Most companies may not have a face anymore in these days of remote working, but their employees are still the embodiment of their company values. 

And this time, the embodiment of Norton AntiVirus has demonstrated that Norton only wants our money but doesn't give a shit about me or TOH.  Symantec, your values suck.  Ease of doing business with you?  A big fat ZERO.

So in this case, the letter P could stand for.... plonkers?  Phucking passholes?

... Or is it just that they don't get caught?

Amazing where my reading habits take me, sometimes.

Going through an article on the theft of a collection of bonsai trees, I was struck by the author's assumption that the thief was male.  Aside from the fact that moving multiples of trees in pots would make more sense if it were a group effort - in which case why couldn't this be a whole misguided Sorority thinking they could fund their University education with ill-gotten gain, for example.

So before I logged off with the S word (that would be 'sexism' of course) in my head, I decided to do some checking on the likelihood of a bonsai thief having the XY chromosome deal.  Now I wasn't about to do hours of trawling, but let me share with you what I found out in the course of an hour. 

Statistics gathered by the US Department of Justice showed that 'in 1998 there were an estimated 3.2 million arrests of women, accounting for 22% of all arrests that year'.  I couldn't find more recent stats than that, so if you can point me in the direction of newer numbers, by all means feel free.

In Psychology Today, The Scientific Fundamentalist blog ran a series of posts dated July 2008 on criminality and men.  The bit that interested me, of course, being the motivation behind property crimes of robbery and theft:

...If women prefer to mate with men with more resources, then men can increase their reproductive prospects by acquiring material resources. Resources in traditional societies, however, tend to be concentrated in the hands of older men; younger men are often excluded from attaining them through legitimate means and must therefore resort to illegitimate means to acquire them.

Hmmm. 

And female criminality?

... Apart from their tendency and inclination to avoid physical risks and danger altogether, this is another reason that women commit fewer crimes than men. Women only steal what they need for them and their children to survive, whereas men steal to show off and gain status as well as resources. In other words, women steal less than men for exactly the same reason as they earn less than men. Women generally earn less than men do because they tend to make only what they need and usually have better things to do than earn money, whereas men are motivated to earn far more than they need to survive in order to use the money to attract women. Similarly, women steal less than men do because they tend to steal what they need to survive and do not use crime for other purposes, like showing off and gaining status.

OK, I realise I've only scratched the tip of the iceberg here.  Nor do I necessarily agree with the views expressed above.  And don't take things out of context; if you want to fly off the handle, read all the blogposts first.

There are probably tons of number crunchers out there who can corroborate or disprove what's written here.  And the DOJ stats still tell me that there's at least a 1 in 5 chance that the bonsai thief could've been a chick.  Still, I'm now curious enough to wonder how things have evolved over the last 10 years.  For years women have been encouraged to believe they could do as well as men in all areas of their lives.  Has that spilled over into the criminal world?  So what would the numbers say - is the disparity still as great?

And no, I don't think it's just because women don't get caught as often as men.  No matter how inefficient some may believe the criminal justice systems to be, 78% is just too big a gap to be explained by that; even if the stats are over 10 years old.

Hmmm. Should I only allow women and older married men (or at least co-habiting ones) to come into the garden and view the bonsai?  Single, childless young dudes need not apply. :D

On a lighter note, what about what I found on this Forum?

It's because men are, plainly put, the cause of all misery:
MENtal illness
MENstrual cramps
MENtal breakdown
MENopause
GUYnecologist (too bad it's not spelled that way)
and when we have real trouble it's a...
HISterectomy

Yep, found all that in the space of an hour. 

Hurrr.

The Continuing Saga of the Pear-shaped Bonsai Kitty

Yes, Billie the fat cat is a continual source of amusement for my infantile side (as if I had any other).

Here she attempts to make herself comfortable in a glazed bonsai pot while supremely ignoring the photographer. Who in this instance is not myself.


Still, one does wonder whatever was going through the cat's mind when it decided it wanted to fit its remarkable posterior in this little pot.

Pushing one's luck has also become something of a national sport in certain areas of this country (often in the proximity of felines with sharp claws). So here is Billie being subjected to another photo opp, this time with the expression normally associated with 'get out of my face before I jump down your throat.'


The results of this encounter between grumpy cat and the tempter of fate remain a closely guarded secret. Nonetheless, you may rest assured that no animals or teen-agers were harmed in the making of this blogpost.

Photographs courtesy of Graham Laidlaw.

Real Bonsai Kitty (AKA Cat in a Bonsai Pot)

We interrupt our normal broadcasting to bring you this utter bit of fluff.

This is Billie and, no, she is not a bit of fluff - she's too damn fat for that.

Together with cardboard boxes, one of her favourite places for a nap is in a large bonsai pot. This pot is about 27.5in / 70 cm long. And it suits madam just fine. So much so, she has even condescended to share her pot with a pile of suibans.

No, Billie is not my pet. But she is obviously not a maltreated kitty as she is evidently pear-shaped. Billie has a brother named Ben, who is beautiful but hasn't got two brain cells to rub together. Nor will he sit still and pose for the camera. Those of you who have been to Bonsai Trees Southampton will know of Billie and Ben.

That done, we now return to our normal programme of moaning, huffing and snark. Thank you.

(And why there are still so many people out there who fall for the Bonsai Kitten thing is beyond me... it's an old, old hoax, dudes! Can we get all irate and bent out of shape by something else now? Pleeze??)

How my friends think I should start the weekend

Got these in my in-basket this morning. Are my friends trying to tell me sumfin?

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My uncle got a vasectomy. Put it on MasterCard. Forgot to pay.
The finance company came over and knocked up his wife

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The newly born sperm was receiving instructions in conception from the head sperm.

"As soon as you hear the siren, run for the tunnel and swim in a straight line until you get to the entrance of a damp cavern. At the end of the cavern you will find a red sticky ball, which is the egg. Address it and say, 'I'm a Sperm.' She will answer, 'I'm the Egg.' From that moment on, you will work together to create the embryo. Do you understand?"

The sperm nodded affirmatively and the head sperm wished him luck.

Two days later, the sperm was taking a nap when he heard the siren. He woke up immediately and ran to the tunnel. A multitude of sperm swam behind him. He knew he had to arrive first. When he was near the entrance to the cavern, he looked back and saw he was far ahead. Then he was able to swim at a slower pace until he reached the red sticky ball. When at last he reached the red sticky ball, he brightened up, smiled, and said,

"Hi, I'm a sperm."

The red sticky ball smiled and said, "Hi. I'm a tonsil.

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In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve=2 0is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

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Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

OK, so some things can still surprise me

10 Downing Street on Twitter?

With 1,074 updates, I wasn't about to go trawling around to see if they had 'hate tweets'.

Wonder if this is this how the Civil Service finds out if they're getting pay rises? *snicker*

Seriously though, I wouldn't mind if you could tweet the tax people or an embassy/consulate with a quick question, like 'are you going to release my passport sometime soon or what?'

Wonder how many people it would take to handle all those updates... or is it that all the 146K or so (and probably rising) followers are all busy Civil Servants answering questions and taking flak? It's a dirty job but someone's got to do it.

Like, my job description is answering tweets. *snicker*